Finding a good man on a dating site

How to Spot a Good Man on a Dating Site

Stephanie MillerRelationship Advice Leave a Comment

It can be quite daunting to embark on the adventure of dating on the internet. It can also be quite daunting when faced with lots of opportunities and not knowing whether or not the man you have picked to go on a date with is a good one or not. With that in mind, this article is here to discuss how to spot a great guy on a dating site that will love you for real and work as a guide to help you out.

Profile pictures

It is important when you are looking for a male partner on a dating site like POF or others that you look carefully at his profile photos. A person without photos could easily be a catfish, which is usually not worth wasting your time on. Also, you want to be able to see what the other person looks like to see if you find them attractive or not, so a profile photo is a must. 

Another important aspect of a person’s profile photo is to check their hands for rings. Sometimes people will post photos of themselves with their wedding rings on still without thinking, and they could simply be a married man that’s looking for a bit on the side or to cheat on their marital partner.

Profile photos can say a lot about a person. Thus, if he has pets, he will often have photos of himself with them to show a softer and more gentle side. This is the sign that can tell he’s a confident man who doesn’t mind showing the other side of them, which is a great bonus.

Similar to profile photos, a profile that is lacking information and shows zero effort reflects exactly that: zero effort. If a man makes zero effort in his dating profile, then he is either lazy or not that bothered about putting in the effort to meet somebody. This is a major red flag.

Conversation abilities

It is crucial that the man you are talking to have a great conversation with you. That is the first step when it comes to meeting a man off the internet. The conversation needs to be flowing and not too forced. Otherwise, it can easily fizzle out. If the person that you are talking to is a kind guy, then he won’t become overly sexual in the first conversations you have. In fact, that shows a lack of respect for you, and this is not what you want to look for in a relationship.

Also, a mentally strong man needs to be able to hold a conversation with you and reply within a reasonable timeframe. So he won’t leave you hanging for a long time or leave without a response. People who do that often do so because the conversation is lacking in excitement for them; they find it boring, a chore, or simply cannot be bothered to reply. You want to find somebody who is excited to message you, not someone who finds it boring or a chore. 

A conversation should naturally flow and not feel one-sided all the time, as though you are making all the effort to get to know him.

Furthermore, it is important that you find a husband who doesn’t simply have conversations all about themselves. A decent man will ask about you because they will want to find out things about you and your life, not just talk about his life. This is crucial, as in order to get to the point where a date could be on the cards, you need to get to know each other and learn about one another’s lives.

Amount of consideration

When identifying a gentleman, it is crucial that you find one who has a great deal of consideration for you. This can be simple things or sometimes the big ones. If you get as far as a date, then a honest man will know that it is risky to meet up in a private place and will suggest meeting in a public place so that you feel safe and comfortable. A kind partner will understand that you have a life and not be possessive over you. He will ask you about your day, not just for small talk purposes but because he is considerate and wants to know how your day has been. 

A considerate future husband will take your feelings on board and consider them when he speaks to you. He will also respect you enough to be transparent with you and not lie to you. Respect is very important when it comes to meeting people on dating sites, as a lot of men view women as commodities, which isn’t right.

A lot of men think that it’s OK to send pornographic images to women, which are often unwanted and will result in them being blocked. This is a sign of not respecting them and not the sign of a decent man. If a guy is a great person, he also won’t pressure you into reciprocating this and sending images of yourself that you are uncomfortable with doing so.

That guy you’re dreaming of will be considerate of you needing to gain trust in them before meeting up with them and won’t pressure you into meeting up with them before you are ready to do so. This is very important, as you need to learn about a person and build up trust and a relationship before meeting them, as it puts you “out there” and can make you feel very vulnerable.

If a man just wants to meet up quickly without getting to know you very well, then the chances are they could be looking for just a “hook up”, which is great if that’s what you are looking for, but if you are looking for something that will last and blossom into a relationship, then it is well worth finding a man who wants to get to know you and talk to you before meeting up.

Being honest and upfront

When it comes to dating, it is commonly known that there are a lot of catfish out there, not just people that look different in their photos, but people that lead entirely different lives from the ones that they have told you about. A nice person will not do this; there should be no lies if he wants to develop a long and lasting relationship with you, as they can cause problems further down the line.

In order to build a relationship with someone, you need to be able to trust him. So a righteous boyfriend should give you no cause for concern when it comes to transparency and honesty.

Every party should be completely honest about who they are and what their life is like when it comes to dating. Two people need to know whether their lives are compatible. So while it can be tempting to embellish your life, a gentleman will know that this is not a good idea, as it will only cause problems and trust issues. 

A relationship’s foundations are built on trust, so if this trust is broken in the early phases of a relationship,. Also, it is very unlikely that it can be fixed, and so the relationship is unlikely to ever progress into something more or something long term.

Be of good temperament

A trustworthy man will have a good temperament and will not be an angry person. Furthermore, if he expresses feelings of extreme anger and rage, then this is a major warning sign and red flag. Additionally, it is crucial that when you are looking for a man online and talking to them, they are balanced and not likely to fly off the handle at the smallest thing.

You want to find a partner who believes a relationship is an equal partnership. After all, that is how a relationship should be. You don’t want to find a male who believes he is better than you, as it won’t work out or result in a long and happy relationship.

You also need, when looking for a nice guy, that when you are talking to him, he is well mannered, as this shows a sufficient level of social skills, development, and respect.

It is imperative that you remember that some of the best parts of a relationship are in the dating phase. So, if a person doesn’t start off with good intentions and temperament, then the chances are it will only go downhill as the relationship develops, it isn’t going to get any better, so now is your chance to get out.

Conclusion

There are a lot of things to look out for that indicate a great personality when looking to date online. So, integrity, respect, manners, and a flowing conversation are just some of them. Your dream person will ultimately make you feel good; you shouldn’t have any worries or concerns over their levels of transparency or behavior towards you, and you should never feel pushed, coerced, pressured, or forced into anything.

About the Author
Avatar for Stephanie Miller

Stephanie Miller

Stephanie has graduated from the University of Colorado, and she has a PHD in strategic communication. Writing is her passion, especially for relationships and social media interactions.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *